Strange / strict father?
I have a Chinese father and he’s pretty strict and funny. When I have just studied for 5 hours and then gamble for 10 minutes and he only sees how I gambled and he talks to me in a strict tone that I should improve my grades. I then tell him that I’ve already done everything, does he come up with strange things and just says that I have to do more? I am not allowed to lie down on my bed at lunchtime and have to learn my vocabulary while standing, because otherwise I get a back like a grandpa. I think the statements sound pretty funny but it upsets me.
If you don’t listen to my father he yells at someone until he almost howls and asks why he then howls. Somebody has a father like that too?
Phew how should I start? I’ve been wondering that for a while now and wanted to know if it’s still normal that I can’t really love my father? My father is actually a very kind and good man.
He tries to make everything possible for me and also supports me with everything I do. And although my mother is stricter than him, I prefer my mother to him. I am always happy when he drives to work and I feel so strange / uncomfortable around him.
I can’t remember that time when I was little he did me any harm or anything. I don’t want to talk to my parents about it, because they would just say: “You’re just imagining it.”
I had already thought about looking for a therapist, but I know my parents wouldn’t get me one. I don’t think it’s worth getting one for something like that, do I? Do you have an idea?
Thank you in advance for your help / answers ^^
Hello, I’m 17 and am currently aiming for an FWD in the Bundeswehr for 18 months. My father says that I should go to the police afterwards and under no circumstances does he want me to stay with the Bundeswehr (is also afraid that I will be sent abroad). How can I best explain him that I might even want to stay there? He’s a pretty strict man (are Russian) and he’ll probably be pretty pissed off. Even if I turn 18 at this point in time, I have too much respect and cheek to say: I’m 18 now, I’ll do what I want.
I don’t have that.
I am 15 years old and I have a boyfriend. I am an only child and my parents are very attached to me. But especially with my father I have the problem that I find it quite uncomfortable when he kisses me on the mouth.
I’m just used to it from my boyfriend, so it’s very weird when my father kisses me. I’ve asked him not to do that before but he said it’s ridiculous and that it’s normal because he’s my father. But I still feel very uncomfortable.
What should I do now?
Hey guys, so I don’t have any contact with my father anymore, but earlier where I had contact with him and we were on the road and I somebody e.g. In the shop I asked an employee what was a normal question he said that is completely childish and embarrassing I don’t think a question is childish if you don’t know something or how do you like it? Yes maybe some questions were a bit strange what do you think he just wanted to hurt me?
We’re pretty much alike in character.
So, first to the ones where it all started.
About half a year ago my parents got divorced (my mother cheated on my father). But they are still in contact and still get on pretty well.
But since they were divorced, my dad has been acting kind of “weird”. At first I thought it might take a couple of weeks and it would all be over again, it’s been since February.
And it is somehow (I don’t know how to describe it), so it seems to me that, among other things, it may stink too much alcohol because it is quite often “fun”. And you also notice (at least I do) that he is somehow talking weird. What I also had in the back of my mind was that he might have depression or something.
I have no Idea.
Do you have any experiences with it?
I really don’t know what to do anymore. My father is such an “authoritarian” person. I’m 17 now, female, and I will finish high school next year. I admit that I made a few mistakes, for example I was caught with drugs six months ago and, of course, my parents’ trust was gone after that, which I can understand.
It was just a stupid spontaneous act. But since then I’ve made a lot of effort to get it back and I think it’s slowly getting good. My grades are and always have been pretty good, but my dad still gives me the feeling that I am a big disappointment to him.
Now not only because of the thing six months ago but also in general, for example because, according to him, I am interested in the completely wrong subjects. He himself is quite successful professionally and wants me to do the same, although for me this fact is simply not the most important thing. He thinks I don’t value his opinion, and is too stubborn to realize that his opinion is pretty much the only one I care about.
I am a confident person in and of themselves, but I have the feeling that I have to give up my ideas and my character in order to satisfy him and I am slowly breaking down. I really don’t want to lose or disappoint my parents, but I also have to have the chance to realize myself. How can I make this clear to my father?
How can I make him understand what it feels like when he keeps making me feel like one big disappointment? I don’t think he really has any reason to be extremely strict with me. Why doesn’t he see that I’m trying?
I’ve been friends with my best friend for 1 year and we do so much too. We’re in the same class too. I’m just more popular than her and I also have a lot of friends, but she hangs on me 24/7, sometimes that sucks. I also do a lot with those from my class, but she always bitches and howls around and I lose my desire. I can’t help it that she has no friends and everything, it’s her own fault.
I always try to make friends with them but they don’t like them even though they have never done anything idk my girlfriend is a little weird. I don’t want her to hang on to me all the time, it’s extremely annoying in the long run and I don’t want to tell her because I don’t want to hurt her. She rejects everything that is friends or good with me and does not want to have anything to do with them and tries to convince me how strange they are and that they are not real friends and I don’t know what else to do.
Anyway, she is constantly hyperactive and behaves like 5 and I get such aggressions I mean yes you can have fun but you don’t have to behave like a toddler all the time.
So I’ve known her for 8 years. Everyone suspects that she was raped. She had thought suicidal & self-harming behavior by the age of 10.
Furthermore, where we were drunk, she said that she was raped by her father when she was 6. Whenever she’s drunk, she cries about what her father did to her. Your father was always weird, he always wanted to spend time with me and other children & that we stay with him. Should I put an end to the suffering and ask you openly whether it’s true? I suffer a lot from it.
Please tell me what you would do in my place. Are both 17.
I go into judo & there is 1 boy I am EXTREMELY in love with. My little brother told him rather unpleasantly that I like him. He noticed and his buddy wsl too. How should I react and what should I do?
I couldn’t read his expression correctly but I think he was embarrassed. Otherwise he is quite reserved when it comes to feelings & he also has a rather strict father who puts him under pressure to perform. Can it be that he is dismissive afterwards? 😔
Hello, dear community. I have a pretty weird problem, I think. When I was supposed to take out the trash the other day, I made a strange discovery by accident.
Pretty far down in the bin I saw the sleeve of an old jacket of mine that my mother had given to the old clothes collection about 3/4 year ago, at least that’s what I thought. When I pulled out the sleeve, I noticed that the sleeve was only single, i.e. without a jacket, it looked as if it had been torn off by force. At first I was just confused about the find in the garbage can and I googled something on the Internet and came across a website called “VERNICHTERFORUM”. There I started looking around and I actually found pictures of my old jacket and other old jackets that I once owned. Now I was even more confused than before.
When I was alone a few days later, I went to my dad’s PC and checked his internet history and actually found out that my dad had visited this site several times. Then I also found corresponding pictures on his computer. Now I’m totally exhausted and confused, what should I do? Should i tell my mom? I don’t know what to do next and I’m somehow afraid of my father, only now do I notice that he sometimes looked at me strangely, or am I just imagining it?
I would be grateful for a few helpful answers and thank you for reading through the rather long text.
Well, I really don’t know what to do next, because a friend who is very, very very important to me has a lot of problems with the family, her psyche and so on. Her father is really not good to her and grumbles at her for everything. How can I help her or make her happy.
She likes to meet, for example. Not because she thinks she’s acting extremely weird and if I surprise her with that, her father will probably object. Send help.
At home I don’t have a lot of freedom. It’s not that I’m locked up, but there are many things I can’t do because my father is very strict.
At 18 I’m getting on my nerves. I’m not allowed to wear what I want, I’m not allowed to pursue my hobbies.
Now I’m considering moving out, but I hardly make any money. My training starts in September. I earn a little more then.
So I would really like to move out. But if I actually do that, I risk being rejected by my father and no longer having contact with him (but I would actually prefer it)
So it would make sense to move out from the beginning of my training?
My sister, my mum and I often have stress with my father because he never listens and doesn’t accept any other opinion than his own. he constantly accuses us (me and my sis) that we are just too lazy and would never do anything want to talk ourselves out of everything, for example if we haven’t done something he told us and we want to explain why he throws us at just trying to talk us out and doesn’t even listen to it. By the way, it often happens that he says we have no right to this and that (i.e. if we say something to him about how the day is not over because he said we should wash our dishes today and start at 5 o’clock that we haven’t done it yet have.) and we are always disrespectful and ungrateful and our opinion is irrelevant and unimportant to him (he says literally every week) and whenever we talk to him about it, he doesn’t let us finish (when I recently interrupted him he said what’s going on you and knocked me down again). Well, I’m really desperate now because he downright refuses to listen to me and accept what I say, he doesn’t care at all, although his mother, my mum and sister and I say the same thing, he says we are all crazy and exaggerate and we are all against him and he is right as always. What shall I do .
Ps: sorry for the lousy uppercase and lowercase letters, I’m just pretty crazy right now.
My mom was just talking to my dad and suddenly my dad just went out. I asked my Mitter what was going on and she said they were going to split up. My mother is depressed and hates her life.
She howls all the time and I am sitting here with a severe headache. I have three siblings and two of them are quite young. I’m afraid of what the future will bring me. My father left the house without a cell phone.
I’m only 14, so I know more than my siblings. I don’t want to leave my mother, but neither do my father. I love them both very much. She is still crying and I am also very weak and am writing with trembling hands. How should I deal with the situation?
He’s about to pick up his cell phone.